Pleasing Man Wears You Out
As Christians, we walk a thin line between considering others more important than ourselves and ensuring we please God rather than seeking to please man.
Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,” and Galatians 1:10 “Am I now seeking the approval of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
When I mention pleasing man wears you out, I am including how you judge yourself as well. Now, don’t misunderstand what I am saying. When I talk about “pleasing,” I am actually saying “seeking approval.” If we seek to approve ourselves, then we are likely drifting from the plan and path God has laid out for us. Our BEHAVIOR must be measured at a higher level, one of righteousness and meeting God’s expectations, not necessarily acting in a way that always makes us feel good about ourselves or, conversely, makes us feel as though we are never good enough.
Striving to please/seek approval of man is even more convoluted in that each person has a different expectation and wants from you. Not only are each person’s expectations different than the others, but they are fluid in that they change over time. One day, a person wants you to fill a certain need, then as their needs change, you are suddenly supposed to know exactly how to change course, figure out their current need, and fill that. It is completely confusing and exhausting!
What’s the old saying? “You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can NEVER PLEASE ALL of the people all of the time.” This is a truism, and you will just run yourself ragged and wear yourself out if you try to please everyone all the time.
This is a struggle I have been battling lately. Obviously, I want to please God and follow His precepts and commands in everything I do. On the other hand, trying to please certain people is wearing me out, while leaving me little energy for the people who truly need a pastor and help in building a relationship with God. I was speaking to a counselor a few days ago and articulated the thought that has been repeating itself over and over in my mind. “Lately, I feel like I cannot meet the expectations of those around me. I feel like no matter what I do, how I do it, or how much I do, it is NEVER ENOUGH!” It is an unhelpful and demoralizing feeling.
Expressing that thought brought me to my knees and then to writing this sermon. God does not expect or want us to fill the needs of every person who crosses our path. Everyone has such completely different and diverse needs that our resources (physical, financial, and spiritual) will quickly become completely depleted, and we will be overwhelmed if we try. Believe me, I know because I have tried “please, man” just to be met with coldness, lack of appreciation, and emotional betrayal.
Even if I did try to please everyone, who would get the priority, and how would I have to change to meet their desires? How much of my own life will I be expected to give up to fill their empty vessel? God knows I have tried, but it’s simply not possible. I realize that now.
So, I had to hit “reset,” spend a few weeks with God, and now realize we are not called to completely fill the wants/needs of others. We are called to be Jesus’s hands and feet on earth, helping, serving, giving, and loving others through their pain, grief, financial and emotional problems, but we are never called to solve all their problems. We cannot afford to give up our own mental and financial “health” to be there to pick up every person when their lives go over a cliff. That is not God’s best plan for them or for us. Each of us must deal with our own problems, certainly with the help and advice (if needed) of others, but at the end of each day, it is “us and God” fighting our battles.
No one can make another person happy or fulfilled. We can encourage and try to be available for them in their time of need, but we are not called to be “on call 24/7.” Each of us has our own lives, limitations, needs, and calling to serve the community as a whole for God; therefore, all of our energy cannot be spent on one or two people. My advice is to do what you can, within the realm of what God expects and your heart can give, while ensuring you are never prioritizing the WANTS of a few over the servitude of many.
I never want anyone to feel as I have been feeling lately about not being able to do enough to take away the pain and problems of others, and taking this perceived failure so personally that I began to question my ability to help anyone. It is a desperate feeling and one that stops your progress in ministry and serving humanity because no person performs well feeling like they are failing and unappreciated.
I am a child of God; therefore, I have overcome the world and am a winner in all situations. Never let another person make you feel like you aren’t enough. Don’t allow people to treat you as though you are failing them, whether their displeasure is spoken or acted out. Never stop seeking to serve humanity as a whole because that’s what God wants and needs from you. This world needs you thriving and serving with a heart filled with love and God’s promise of success. Amen.
Isaiah 40:31 “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” ><>
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